Dominican Republic...and Heidi ;)

 

Just a few photos from a wedding in the Dominican Republic/Punta Cana we went to in March..and of course, a quick pic of our little one. She makes the whole post worth it in my opinion ;)

 

 Our gorgeous Heidi girl!

 

 The Dominican Republic for Natalia and Rall's wedding!

 J, Flott, and Rall

 

Such a sweet bromance!

 

 I like to call Dave my very own Drake. Love him!

 Sassy little Aimee :)

 

The end.

 

XO

me

"C" is for Clomid

I am so excited to be able to write this post so soon!

I was planning on waiting to see the outcome of my Clomid experience then share. That outcome being either:

 A) we got a positive pregnancy test (eeeek!) 

 B) my period started (oh my gosh!)  

 

oooor (what I really thought was going to happen) NOTHING was going to come of the cycle and I would never get to write about my opinion on Clomid....well to my surprise - a super happy surprise - the correct choice is B!

Yes, I know it is odd that I am SO excited to have started a period when the end all result we want is outcome A but there is something to be said for the relief that my body FINALLY did something it was supposed to in the time frame it was supposed to! I am actually in a small state of disbelief! I also had a few reservations about getting pregnant the first round of Clomid after all the oddness my body has been going through. I've heard that quite a few first pregnancies end with a miscarriage or some type of complication. While most of my friends have perfectly normal pregnancies and it may sound like I'm being paranoid - I want to try to get some type of normalcy going in this weirdo body so we can give our mini Stell as much of a chance as we can :)

So, Yay! Aunt Flo is here and I am (in crazy crampy pain) a totally happy, girl! Like dance around the house loaded with Midol and loving every minute of it kind of happy. SO WEIRD!

 

So here is a little rundown of my Clomid cycle: it will be quick since I've spent way too much time typing an ode to a menstrual cycle. Wow.

 

Here we go:

My doctor gave me my first round of Clomid (50mg) and said since I had not had a period since January to just start it the next day instead of waiting for my period and starting the pill on day 3. That is the normal way to take it and we all know I'm not normal ;)

She said to come back in two weeks and would do a transvaginal ultrasound (like the one we did that showed my PCOS). This time we would look at my ovaries and see if any follicles were stimulated and to really just see if I responded at all to the drug. She told me that she didn't expect to see much of result and to not really expect much. I was ok with that and felt hopeful this would kick my body into gear. I was a Clomid fan already and I had no idea why. I'm a freak. LOL!

So I made my next appointment and started the pill the next day expecting all kinds of terrible symptoms to occur - remember Metformin?! Well I am happy to report that I had no symptoms except for a few crazy nightmares, a few little hot flashes, and lots of random discharge.
Not bad, right?

 

Here is where I learned a very expensive lesson: PCOS messes with ovulation kits. Yeah - they don't work. What is that about?! I already have to deal with crazy cycles - now even all the money in the world can't help me do one normal thing? (I don't have all the money in the world - but you would think so judging by how many test and kits I buy) Stupid.

So needless to say I was getting a little down on Clomid. It obviously hadn't worked bc none of the ovulation kits came back positive and that was crap to me. So mad! Was I ever going to be normal again?! For the love - can I just be normal?!

 

Went to my two week ultrasound appt already prepared for the worst. Said a small prayer before getting out of the car and told God that I was totally ok with His plan and whatever He wanted to happen with this appt and my body I was ok with and that I knew it was in His time. BUT I hadn't ovulated - had no symptoms..hello - she was going to say Lauren, I warned you and I would say yes, I know but I'm crazy and an eternal optimist. So with these couple of convos running in my head I eventually ended up on the table with a wand you know where. Deep breath!

 

INSTEAD...she gave me the craziest news! I had 3 very healthy and beautiful (her words) follicles that looked 2 to 3 days away from ovulatoin. Holy crap, what?! She said if anything the Clomid had worked too well and I was a bit overstimulated. If James and I had any reservations about multiples we shouldn't try this cycle for mini Stell. Um...wow. I was shaking and trying to hold back tears. I don't think I have ever been filled with that much hope. God made sure I knew He had a plan! Apparently an over stimulated plan, but a plan. I got in my car, cried, called and texted my nearest and dearest...did the random vague facebook post and just basked in my amazing news!
What a great day!

 

Sooo before I learned my lesson about crap ovulation tests I took multple tests multiples times for the next week. What happened to 2 to 3 days?! I called the office so upset and said that I was SURE what the doctor had seen were cysts - bc google said so.  She told me that the only true way to tell about ovulation in PCOS patients was to do temperature charting. Ugh...I had been avoiding that. She also banned me from google. Lame.

 

Ok - wrapping this up. Two days later I ovulated. WORST PAIN EVER! I mean that might be a little dramatic but you have to remember I hadn't ovulated in years and  I have no pain tolerance. Anyway it happened. Of course James and I talk a big game and decided we would love multiples and we had sex appropriately timed for the next week. I think he felt slightly used poor sweet guy...

 

I had my first legit "two week wait".

James super confident we had a mini Stell.

Me super hopeful for at least a period to happen.

 

So now is the end of Clomid cycle 1.

 

While we are not pregnant - I am so so so happy that my period started. I haven't been this happy about a period in years... you know when you have those Thank God I'm not pregnant! moments? Yeah, those. but WAY happier :)

 

Round 2 starts Tuesday! Yay! Maybe this cycle will bring even more to be excited about!
Fingers crossed!

 

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

 

-XO-

Me

"M" is for Metformin

Hello all!

 

So I thought  I would pick up where I left off about our little "plan of action" (besides mega prayer) for a mini Stell.

After we got the PCOS diagnosis my doctor immediately put me on a small dose of Metformin to see how my body would react. She warned me it wasn't an easy drug to take and be ready for some tough days. I was so excited at the prospect of getting to bottom of my issue that I didn't think twice! She started me on one pill a day for 1 week, two pills a day the next week, and finally the three pills a day starting week three and that would be my max dose. Forever. Yes, I am only 29 and have a forever prescription. Ugh. Anyway - I've never been one of the weird pill takers but all three of these HORSE pills with my big prenatals and dha supplement and my B complex....yeah it's a little more than I like to take. I digress...

 

Here is a quick description of the drug:

Metformin (Glucophage) for polycystic ovary syndrome

Examples

Generic Name	Brand Name
metformin hydrochloride	Glucophage, Glucophage XR

How It Works

Metformin decreases the level of androgens produced by the ovaries and adrenal glands. It also helps the body use insulin and may reduce the risk of diabetes.

 

When blood sugar is lower, less insulin is needed, so the body makes less insulin. And when insulin is lower, the body produces a lower level of androgens.

Why It Is Used

Metformin is a diabetes medicine sometimes used for lowering insulin and blood sugar levels in women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). This helps regulate menstrual cycles, start ovulation, and lower the risk of miscarriage in women with PCOS.

 

Metformin can be used to treat women who have PCOS to reduce insulin levels and promote normal ovarian function. Metformin is best used in addition to eating a healthy diet, losing weight, and exercising regularly.

How Well It Works

Metformin lowers insulin, androgen, and cholesterol levels. It also improves metabolism in women who are insulin-resistant.

• Metformin may be useful in restoring regular menstrual cycles and starting ovulation in about 45% of women with PCOS.³
• Clomiphene (Clomid) and metformin may be more effective when they are taken together. But more research is needed to confirm if this is true.
• Some studies show that taking metformin has helped with in vitro fertilization (IVF). But other research did not support this.
• Metformin may lower the risk of miscarriage or gestational diabetes in women with PCOS, but this has not yet been confirmed by research. Metformin is probably safe to take while you are pregnant. But because metformin is only FDA-approved for the treatment of diabetes, you should talk with your doctor about the use of this medicine for reducing your risk for miscarriage or treating PCOS symptoms.

Side Effects

The most common side effects of metformin are:

• Nausea.
• Loss of appetite.
• Diarrhea.
• Increased abdominal gas.
• A metallic taste.

So, maybe not so quick, BUT that explains better than I ever could.

Basically this medicine is supposed to level out and help my body get back to normal ovulating condition. Like NORMAL people! Maybe I should embrace the whole not normal thing ;)

 

Day 1 - No issues. Felt fine. I was feeling good! I was a master pill taker and my body rocked!

 

Day 3 - So I cheated. I went to the next dose early...again rocked it.

 

Day 6  -  So after a few days of taking the two I was still confident that I was fine and could move forward. I decided to take the full three and just see what happened - I could always go back to two and um hello, if I could jumpstart this process why not??

 

Day 7  - MAJOR FAIL!

If I can give one piece of advice it would be to never jump to full doses of drugs that doctors warn you will be "tough". By "tough" they mean you will bloat up like a whale, have hot flashes, extreme nausea, constipation, more nausea, and the grand finale - literally crapping your tights. Yes. Your TIGHTS.

So tread lightly my friends...with high doses of Metformin you can temporarily lose control of your bowels. Gross. Had to share though.

Side note: This happened at home right before we were going to the theater. Praise the Lord! Had time for a quick change. It was definitely an experience.

Moral - follow your dosing instructions and transitions should go pretty smoothly.

 

I've now been taking Metformin since December. I've only had one cycle in January. It was short - but totally a cycle! It gave me a little hope! Was I getting back on track? No, according to my P Tracker app (LOVE IT) I am now 68 days "late" LOL! So laughable. How can I be late for something that just isn't going to happen? Kind of a bitter statement..but it's how I feel.

 

Had my yearly check up in May and mentioned to my doctor that James and I are super serious at the point so what is the next step we can take besides the Metformin. I was prepared to give her a long sob story about how we just can't wait...my parents are older...we are scared we are getting older...basically anything that would prevent her from saying well just wait it out. To my surprise when I told her I haven't had a cycle since January she immediately said CLOMID is what we need to try.

 

A voice of an angel is what rang in that cold room. I was elated. Yay! One more step in the right direction! Would this be THE step?! So excited! I had read lots of great success stories about Metformin and Clomid working together. I thanked her, left, and filled my prescription.

 

Next blog:

Clomid (My First Cycle)

My thoughts :)

 

Sorry for the long blog entry.

I'm a little wordy ;)

 

Goodnight everyone!

XO

Lauren

 

A new bloggable purpose...

It is a little known fact to people outside my little social circle and salon (aka maybe 5 people) that James and I are thinking about starting a family of our own.

By thinking I mean we are ready to take the plunge.
I have officially started walking baby aisles randomly for reasons other than showers - I call it research. I have been on Etsy almost more often than I was for my wedding looking at nursery ideas, cute outfits - ya know..for the baby we aren't even having. Also research. It's safe to say I have the bug. We are super excited. Soooo with all of that being so dang super....there is a hiccup. My body SUCKS. Not like crap I need to lose 10 pounds and this acne just won't go away sucks but like oh my wow my internal workings are all kinds of crazy sucks. I realize I have taken for granted how bad things with people's bodies can truly be. While I have stressed over excessive hair, acne, and vanity pounds others have serious issues. So in retrospect what I am about to go on a bit of a rant about is something I hope to one day roll my eyes about and say ummm you thought YOU had it bad?!
Ok so back to the acne, excessive hair growth, and weight issue...it's for a reason people!

 Why didn't I know this back in like middle school?! PCOS!
Let's start from the beginning:

James and I decided in October I would stop taking my birth control pills, meet with my super sweet and sassy OBGYN for a preconception appt and be on our road to parenthood. Easy right?! Everyone is like you better be ready, it happens so fast, my husband just winks at me and I'm pregnant, oh my gosh happened on our first try, I am the virgin Mary...ya get the picture. We were going to have a baby and quick. I was following all of the steps..No BC for three months before trying, take prenatals, you know that drill. Well at the appt I mentioned a previous OBGYN said that my lining was thin and that when we decided to start trying for  a baby it would be a good idea to have that checked just in case I needed some sort of medicine to thicken it up so our baby could attach. Well my Dr. took us into the ultrasound room and instead of finding a thin lining she found tons of tiny little cysts lining my ovary like a string of pearls (her words). She said this was abnormal in the sense of how it looks but not abnormal for someone who has a history of weirdly timed to non existent periods, acne, excessive hair, and weight gain. Enter exhibit A) what pcos looks like in the ovary. ( not mine just so you know)

 

See the difference? What does this mean?

Quick rundown!

 

(Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) is one of the leading causes of infertility in women. Approximately five to ten percent of women of childbearing age have PCOS. Most women with PCOS don’t even know that they have it. In fact, less than twenty-five percent of women with PCOS have actually been diagnosed. Most women do not get a diagnosis until they begin trying to get pregnant. Some of the symptoms of PCOS may be overlooked until a woman starts trying to conceive a baby.

What is PCOS?

PCOS, or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, is a medical condition that affects women’s menstrual cycles, fertility, hormone levels, and physical appearance. Women with PCOS produce high levels of insulin. Researchers believe that excessive insulin production causes their bodies to respond by producing high levels of male hormones or androgens.

During the first half of a normal menstrual cycle, several follicles will develop. Each follicle contains an egg. As the menstrual cycle continues, only one follicle will remain. This follicle will produce the egg during ovulation. Once the egg has matured, LH levels will surge causing the egg to burst from the follicle. This is when ovulation occurs.

Excess male hormones produced with PCOS affect the production of female hormones necessary for ovulation. A woman with PCOS does not produce enough hormones to cause any of the follicles to mature. They may grow and collect fluid but none become large enough for ovulation. Some of these follicles may develop into cysts. Because ovulation does not occur, progesterone is not produced. Progesterone is what causes the lining of the uterus to thicken. A woman’s cycle will be irregular or absent without progesterone.

 

And as we all know - without regular cycles and ovulation no mini Stell is in our near future! Sad!

 

After processing this a minute back in December I asked how we should move forward.
Was there a forward?

Well my friends with modern medicine, patience, and resilience YES we could (and did) move forward!

 

So I've decided to use this blog to document our journey to bringing a fabulous little mini Stell into this crazy world. I think this will be helpful not only to my mind, soul, well being, sanity (whatever works for you) I think it will be a fantastic outlet so I don't drive my friends and loved ones absolutely insane. See! Love my friends! So considerate! I am going to spare them my nasty ovulation details, my cervical mucus charts and my oh my gosh my temp spiked! moments! Yes. This will be my outlet for all of my TTC (trying to conceive for any newbies) thoughts, emotions, moments... Yes, my own therapy. This is going to be good ;)

 

So with all of that said: Welcome to my TTC blog. I have PCOS. It won't get the best of me and my little family to one day be :)
Catch that rhyme? See, I totally need a kid.

Maybe a girl who searches random blogs for hope night after night just like I do will run across this blog and not feel helpless or alone. This condition is common but no matter how common - hearts can be broken.  Hearts yearn. This heart will be strong because I know we have a plan.

 I know our amazing God has a plan.

That, my friends, is why I am so excited to share our story.
To reach out to others. To document miracles.
So very excited!

Our mini Stell is loved more than words can descibe already by me, James and so many others...
Can't even imagine how we will feel when he is really cooking away inside ;) Crazy!

 

Ok, enough for now. Just wanted to share the new purpose of the blog.
Get ready for some baby makin' good times!
Yeah, I went there.

 

XOXO

 

Lauren

A little studio named Gloss...

Yet another long hiatus!

What's a girl to do? Life doesn't slow down even when you make a conscious effort to make it. Also - opening a salon doesn't really help!

Yes, it has been almost (basically days away) a YEAR since James and I with the help of my parents opened Gloss Hair Studio.

I am in love with the space. It makes me smile and so so proud of us. It isn't all sunshine and daisies BUT the good outweighs the bad by well...no comparison.

I think I can give credit to the salon's first year of wonderfulness to:

 A) James - he keeps all of our finances in order. Keeps me on a budget. Tells me how great I am and how proud of me is. Just basically keeps me together :) Love him.

B) My mom and dad - They gave us the money to open the salon and since we didn't have to go through a bank the stress of paying back before we were on our feet wasn't an issue. My dad is super handy and is there as soon as we need him. Leaky faucet, pipes, things to be hung, this and that to be fixed. Yes, he is such a blessing to the salon. Not sure what kind of craziness we have averted bc of his help. Love him.

C) The girls of Gloss - what can I say. I knew what I wanted when we opened the salon. A group of girls that I could trust, did great hair, and that I could stand to be around 5 days a week in a 1750 sq ft. space. As with any group of girls - moods happen, bad days occur, we just get annoyed. BUT my awesome group of girls feels more like a group of friends that get mad, get glad, get over it! I am so proud of each girl. So proud that they work with me. So proud that care about Gloss like I do. Life is good with my girls. Love them.

D) All of the wonderful friends and clients that keep lifting Gloss up and making it even more fabulous. Oh my gosh. I am so so so humbled by the support from the community. We have felt so at home in Summerwood. It is amazing.  Also, I want to give a BIG shout out to my very best promoter Brenda Parks. I love her to the moon and back. She has been one of my biggest cheerleaders from day 1. Well even before. She pushed me long before the idea of Gloss even came into being. "I know you could do it" "You should totally open a salon"....just words at the time that were a seed. That seed grew into major confidence and with the help of friends, family, and clients Gloss is in full effect! Love them all.

 

So enough of this... It's kind of sappy ;)

Picture time!

 

 

 

So there you have it. 

A little peek of what my year has been devoted to.

Wouldn't have it any other way!

 

Thanks to all of my friends, family, clients, and the community a million times over for all of the love and support. It means the world!

 

Stay Glossy!

 

XO

Lauren